The Winds of Change Chapter 5

A/N  I don’t own Supernatural—we all know the genius behind it is Eric Kripke-- or the song used by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.  THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO TAKE THE TIME TO COMMENT . And I’m afraid I might’ve gotten carried away in this chapter because it’s fluff and the plot doesn’t move much, but these two really needed to hash some stuff out. Hope you enjoy it.  Cyber pie for everyone!

The Winds of Change
Chapter Five:

“My Guardian Angel”
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out

How this world turns cold
And breaks through my soul
And I know, I'll find deep inside me
I can be the one

Now…

This went against everything Dean Winchester believed in or practiced.  Laying low?  Really?  This whole thing sucked!  Here he was, stuck in the new hideout that was covered with sigils to prevent angels and demons from finding them.  Bobby and Sammy were using everything at their disposal to locate Lilith.  Sammy had told Dean he thought it was the only way to stop her from coming after him.

As places go, the hideout wasn’t bad.  It was a beat-up, rambling single-story house with a garage to hide his baby, constructed over a basement, where Dean was staying.  Cas had used his angel mojo and zapped all of Bobby’s books and tapes and other supernatural paraphernalia there.  Cas hadn’t listened when Dean said he’d rather drive.  No, he’d just put two fingers right smack between Dean’s eyes and zapped him here.  Here, being Kentucky.  Cas hadn’t been very forthcoming, telling them it was an abandoned horse ranch. End of story, Dean.

Dean ran his hands through his hair and made a face as his scalp itched.  Time for a shower.  Bobby and Sam were in the kitchen fixing dinner and he was just supposed to lie in bed?  He huffed a deep breath and stole a look around the basement.

His guardian angel wasn’t there.  Being in such close quarters to Cas had him terribly on edge.  He couldn’t stop staring at him, and then he would avert his eyes when the angel turned to regard him, and he knew Cas got the wrong idea, that he didn’t want him there.  The trouble was, Dean wanted too much from the angel.  He wanted the soulful kisses Cas gave him, breathing the breath of life into him, to be more than just resuscitation.

He jerked the covers aside.  He was weak.  Even though Cas helped sustain him, Dean knew he was growing weaker every day, and he also knew it was making Cas mental.  Oh, of course, his brave angelic Stormtrooper didn’t say anything, but Dean knew every movement, every flicker in those blue eyes, every shadow and line as they deepened on Cas’ handsome face, and he knew he was the cause.

Dean cast another look around and sneaked to the adjoining bathroom.  He shed his clothes and turned on the water as hot as he could make it.  He gazed at his reflection in the mirror and winced.  He was unshaven, eyes had bags and dark circles under them, the skin was tinged with gray and he had bed-hair.  He glanced down on the tank of the toilet and saw Sammy’s iPod.  He wondered what kind of music his baby bro had on it and decided he’d find out.  He inserted the ear buds and turned it on.

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you, I'll be the one

“Geez, Sammy.  Chick-flick music? Seriously?”  He looked at the name of the song.  “My Guardian Angel by a band I’ve never heard of.”   Actually, they weren’t half bad, but he’d never tell Sam.  He had his bad-boy image to protect.

Dean turned off the iPod after the song finished, and stepped into the shower, enjoying the feel of the hot water.  He used shampoo and washed his hair twice.  He grabbed the bar of soap, closed his eyes and suds up his chest, rubbing the soap in small circles.  The hot water beat on his back and he moaned softly.  Water cascaded over his face.  He moved the soap down, across his rock-hard abs.  He was proud of his physique.  He was lucky he had a high metabolism, what with all the junk food and pie he’d eaten on the road all these years.

He started to reach down to wash his legs when the shower spun and sparks danced in his vision.  He felt like something pierced his organs and ripped bloody pieces from his lungs.  He choked, his mouth filling with water as he tried to call out for Sam.  He tried to catch the shower door to stay upright, but missed and he plummeted towards the tub, losing his footing on the slippery surface.

Strong arms came from nowhere through the gushing water and caught him from behind.  He felt cold metal against his wet skin and warm breath on the back of his neck.  Then, in a flash, he was in the bedroom.  Coughing, heaving to catch breath that would not come, Dean felt himself losing consciousness.

 The world spun and his legs gave out. Only the strong arms around him held him erect. He was barely aware as he was spun around and soft, warm lips ground against his, compelling him to open his mouth.  Breath was forced into his mouth and reached his laboring lungs.  He gasped as he was finally able to breathe again, but held onto the body pressed against his, not willing to let the lips leave his own.

But then they were gone and he opened his eyes and stared into Cas’ wide, frightened gaze.  His world spun again as the angel held him, cradling Dean’s wet, naked body against his.

Cas was still wearing the armor and Dean could see himself in the breast plate. He looked confused and knew that was because he didn’t want Cas near him while he was naked. But, paradoxically, he didn’t want Cas to leave; didn’t want Cas to let him go. He held onto Cas’ shoulders and faked a gasp.

“You don’t need any more, Dean.”   Was there censorship in Cas’ voice or something else?

“I…want…” Dean couldn’t finish the sentence. Do I want it? Really? This is an angel. A guy angel. Why am I pining over a guy angel? But no, it’s not just any angel. It’s Cas. And Cas makes me feel…

He didn’t want to think about how he felt; he just wanted to feel it. He wanted to revel in the emotions that coursed through him every time those cobalt eyes fastened on his. He never wanted the feelings to end when Cas held him and forced his angelic breath into Dean’s lungs.

“Lay down.” Cas helped Dean to the bed.

“Cas…”  Dean didn’t let go of Cas’ shoulders.

“You’re wet. I need to get a towel.” Cas took Dean’s hands off his shoulders. “Don’t move.”

“Don’t…”  Dean didn’t want Cas to go, but the air conditioning made him shiver. The shower turned off and a moment later Cas returned with a couple of towels.

“Stay still.” Cas handed Dean a towel and the hunter quickly wrapped it about his waist.  Cas began rubbing the rest of Dean’s body with another towel.

Dean closed his eyes. This isn’t happening.

The towel’s rough against my skin. The friction’s warming my body, but I know that isn’t the only reason. Cas’ nearness makes me warm. No, it makes me hot. I feel like I have a fever.  If I open my eyes, will he be staring at me?  Are his eyes roving over my body right now?

 What the hell, dude!  This is Cas you’re talking about!  He doesn’t understand the boundaries of naked space.

Cas made sure Dean’s body was dry. Dean had to sit down and pulled the blanket over his lap.  Cas tilted his head and sat beside him on the bed.  “Lean back,” he said in a soft, perplexed tone.  “I’ll dry your hair.”

Dean leaned back, flinching when the cold armor contacted his warm back, but he settled against Cas’ chest without any argument, and, gradually, felt the cold metal’s temperature change from his body heat.  Cas took the towel and gently rubbed Dean’s scalp, carding his fingers through the wet mass of his hair, pressing the towel against his head, massaging, warming Dean to his core.

Dean moaned. Why is Cas towel-drying my hair and running his long fingers through my hair so damn exciting?  If it was anyone else, I’d consider it foreplay.

“No.”  He pushed Cas’ hands away and moved away from him, careful to keep the towel secure where it was. “I’m dry.”  And too damn excited for my own good.

“How are you feeling?” Cas’ eyes were dark with concern as Dean crawled into bed.  The angel pulled the covers up to Dean’s chin.

Dean didn’t want to tell the truth.  “I’m good.”

 I can’t tell you the truth, Cas.  I can’t tell you that your touch sends chills through my entire body and how turned on I am right now.  I’m not embarrassed by you seeing me naked either; it’s not that. What I find myself wondering is if you liked what you saw.  Are you attracted to me in that way, Cas?  What the hell is with me?!

Fingers snapped in front of his eyes and they focused.  He met Cas’ concerned look.  “Dean, you didn’t hear a word I just said.”

Dean experienced a full body blush.  “Sorry, Cas.”

Cas sighed.  “No apology is necessary.  You were close to death.  I should apologize to you, Dean.”

“What for?”

Cas made a sharp turn away from the bed, caught sight of himself in the full length mirror on the closet door and froze.  He peered at the man in the mirror as if he didn’t know who it was.  “I can’t find friggin’ Lilith!” he said with anger.  “You’re getting weaker and weaker and there’s nothing I can do other than postpone the inevitable.”

“Cas, you just swore!”

Cas huffed through his nose and whirled around.  “That’s what you took from all that?”

Dean recoiled a little from the turmoil in Cas’ eyes.  “What do you want me to say?”

 That I’m scared outta my friggin’ mind you won’t be able to save me?  That I’m afraid you’ll lose your grace in the process?  That all I want right now is for you to climb in bed with me and hold me?

“I want you to understand how severe the circumstances are.”  Cas turned back to the mirror.  “I miss my overcoat,” he said so sadly it made Dean ache.

“It’s in the Impala’s trunk.”

“I know where it is, Dean.  I put it there.”  Cas heaved another sigh.  “I want…”  He hung his head and studied the floor.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

The words of the song he’d heard in the bathroom crashed into his mind and they all applied to his angel.  “I don’t want you sacrificing yourself for me.”  Dean’s tone was gruff.

“It’s not your decision; it’s mine.”

Dean peered into the indigo of Cas’ eyes.  “Why?”

“Because you’re you, Dean.”

The simple answer floored Dean.  “Because I’m the righteous man?”

“You are much, much more.”  Cas’ face was luminous in the semi-darkness of the basement.

“How much more?”  Why do I keep pushing him?

Cas frowned.  “More than I have the words to describe.”

Dean rose, but not before he re-tucked the towel about his middle, securing it at his waist, and then he let the cover fall.  He swung his legs over the side of the bed, rose slowly and padded over to Cas.  He gripped Cas biceps and stared into his eyes.

 “Tell me what these kisses mean to you.  Are they just helping me breathe?  Tell me, dammit!”

Cas caught Dean’s face in his hands and moved so close that Dean felt his breath on his face.

 “Your lips are soft as the petals of one of my Father’s roses. Your mouth tastes like pie and beer.  I find it isn’t unpleasant.   My vessel’s pulse is beating fast.  Its heart throbs and I feel like I’m suffocating.”  Cas paused and Dean gasped as the blue eyes incinerated him.  “And I would do it again.  I would kiss you again, Dean.  I never want to stop kissing you.”

Dean felt like he was punched in the solar plexus.  “Geez, Cas.  This is scaring the hell outta me!”

Cas tilted his head.  His eyes were blue diamonds, hard and as cutting.  “You asked me, Dean.”

“It’s just I…”

Tell him! “I don’t know what I’m feeling!  I don’t know what’s up and what’s down!  I don’t know what I want except…”

“Except what?”  Cas’ lips spoke against Dean’s as the angel pulled him close.

“Except…you.”  There, I said it, only I really didn’t.

“Kiss me, Dean.”  Cas leaned back a little.  “You kiss me this time.”

This is getting way too kinky for me.  God, Cas, you think my lips are soft?

“Don’t you want to?”  Cas frowned and his arms fell to his sides.

This is your opportunity to end this.  Be his friend; be his brother!

“I have to find Lilith,” Cas said and turned to go.  Every line in his body showed dejection.

Dean started, like a horse feeling the whip coming out of the gate in The Kentucky Derby.  He bridged the gap between them and reached out, his fingers encountering the gauntlets that covered the angel’s arms.  He slid his hands past them, up to Cas’ shoulders.  Cas’ gaze locked on Dean as the hunter framed the angel’s face with his hands.
Sexual tension spiked in Dean with an instant charge.

 “Oh, I’ll kiss you,” he said in a low growl.

Dean closed his eyes.  It’s cowardice on my part because I don’t want to see a guy’s face so close to mine, but this is Cas!  Feeling the rasp of his stubble makes me tingle to my toes. I don’t want to admit how I’m quivering as I claim his lips.

Cas made a sound, a small moan, and Dean’s passion enveloped him so that he forgot everything but the soft, chapped lips beneath his, the hard muscles encased in armor, the yielding of his angel in his arms.

Cas smelled like fresh rain and innocence, of temptation Dean didn’t dare act upon.

“Dean.  Dinner’s ready!”

Sammy couldn’t have ruined the moment more if he’d poured cold water over them.  Both men stepped back and avoided looking at each other.  Dean was so flustered, he couldn’t speak.  He was suddenly very aware that he was only wearing a towel.

“I…better get dressed.”  If Sammy saw him like this—alone with Cas.

“I’ll…leave you…”  Cas began.

Dean made a sharp gesture that almost loosened the towel.  He held it together.  “Stay for dinner with us.”

“I don’t eat, Dean.”  Cas sounded exasperated.  That was better than hurt or depression.

“I know, but you can sit at the table with us and fill us in on what you’ve been up to.”  Dean widened his eyes and put on his most charming smile.

“I was about to say, I’ll leave you to get dressed.”  Cas made a small face.  “This armor is… unpleasant to sit in.”

“So, take it off…for now.”

Maybe if you take it off I won’t keep thinking of what’s underneath.

“I’ll need help getting it off.”

Dean swallowed.  “You can’t just zap it off?”

“No, Dean, I can’t.”

Dean held up a hand.  “Gimme a minute.”  He opened the closet, grabbed a pair of jeans and put them on, using the door as a shield. So he wouldn’t have to go past Cas to reach the chest-of-drawers where his underwear was, he decided he’d go commando.

 He found an AC/DC tee shirt on the floor, sniffed the armpits and figured it would pass muster.

When he peered out from behind the door, he was relieved to see Cas was still there.  He approached the angel.  “What comes off first?”  Did I just say that?

Dean walked around Cas and studied the armor.  It was made of some kind of alloy in broad  strips fastened to internal leather straps.  The strips were arranged horizontally on Cas’ body, overlapping downwards, and they surrounded his torso in two halves, fastened at the front and back by brass hooks, which were joined by leather laces. The upper body and shoulders were protected by additional strips to form the shoulder guards and breast and back plates.

Cas motioned to his back and Dean removed the back plate after figuring out what he needed to do.  The breastplate came next.  Dean had expected Cas to have on a shirt of some kind underneath, but all he saw was skin the color of marble, even with some of the fine veining.

“That’s enough.  Thank you, Dean.  I can do the rest myself.”

Dean nodded.  Try to keep your tongue off the floor while you stare at Cas’ naked chest, ya moron!  He made one more trip to the closet and handed Cas a pair of jeans and T-shirt.  “You fixed for underwear?” he asked.

“Yes.  Thanks.”

Dean hurried upstairs to the kitchen and met inquiring looks from Bobby and Sam.

“Pizza okay?”  Sam asked, serving a big slice with all Dean’s favorite toppings on it onto a plate.

“We have a dinner guest,” he said.

“I thought I heard you talking to someone when I called to tell you dinner’s ready.”  Sam sat down and blew on his piece of pizza.  “Careful.  It just came out of the oven.”

“Yeah, well, as you know, Cas doesn’t eat, so you don’t have to get a plate for him.”

Sam had the look Dean knew so well, the probing, what-aren’t-you-telling-me-Dean look.

“How’s he gonna sit in that get-up?”  Bobby asked around a bite of pizza.

“By taking it off,” Cas answered as he entered the kitchen.

Dean scowled as Bobby and Sam reacted to the sight of Castiel in Dean’s jeans and T-shirt in a shade of blue that brought out the color of his eyes.
 
And they weren’t the only ones, Dean thought, as the blood thrummed in his veins.
Okay, so it’s not just the armor. It’s Cas.  Man looks damn good in my jeans!  I am so totally screwed!

TBC…